As an African , many times than we can keep count. we hear our parents say when are you giving me a baby ?. I want a grand daughter or a grand son . I am getting older . I want to see them before I die but it’s not only because of them we go ahead to have kids . We have kids to fulfill some righteous notion that we also can be parents. Some of us do because of our religion. While some are parents by mistakes , many are parents by choice . Why? Cos why not really ? Unless of cos you think of all what happens to your sex life and your really cool single life when you have a baby 😂
I can think of one million reasons to not have a kid and we still think of a thousand and one reasons to have one . Which are kids are so adorable as babies as well as a blessing and it’s really cute to have a mini me of yourself or your husband. But what does it really mean to have one .
As a woman, your body is never the same after childbirth .
I have read countless posts about your postpartum period. “What to expect when expecting? ”
Things to never do while Pregnant or breastfeeding”. You name it....
While the truth is they all just scraped the surface . They all gave us the bare minimum. Why ? I am guessing maybe not to scare us all away from going down the parenthood lane. Women never talk about these things and I feel like it’s really important that we start having these conversations, openly and secretly! Afterall, everyone deserves to know what they are getting themselves into .
Without further wasting of your time , these are things that happen to 95% of women after having a baby.
Please note that these factors are more severe in some than others and your hormones , genetics and health really play a large factor also in determining which affects you more . For example, if your mom was someone who had stretch marks after having you, there is really no escaping it . This is not to dissuade any woman from still taking the plunge to be a mother but trust me Pregnancy was easy ( and I do not mean to offend any mother reading this post that you had it easy during pregnancy. I just mean in comparison to when the baby arrives. Your life is easy trust me ) .
Without further ado ,let’s dive right in :- these are changes that happen to your body after a baby or postpartum:-
HAIR LOSS :-You lose your luscious edges and locks. A woman’s hair is her crowning glory. Pregnancy has a way of making your hair look fuller ,shinier and longer. That’s because hair fall is said to decline a lot in pregnancy. Normally our hair has a resting and a falling phase . In pregnancy it’s more of the resting phase so it gets fuller and thicker ( thanks to ante-natal supplements and vitamins we take ) But guess what , no matter how healthy you were in pregnancy , you are going to lose your hair after having a baby . Especially your edges ( which are almost impossible to grow back ). The severity of this is also determined by genetics. You will find that most times you lose hair in the same areas and pattern as your mom or a family member . I noticed hairs on other parts of my body was not growing either. For example I shaved my armpit every two weeks before I had my daughter. Now I have not done so in three months and there is no hair there . Hormonal imbalances ? I have no idea .
STRETCH MARKS :- I swear I read every material possible on how to prevent stretch marks and to keep my skin moisturized and I can tell you I followed every law in the book .I used shea butter , cocoa butter etc. What they did not say is that nothing can stop those little monsters from popping up . Funny enough .. I did not get any for the whole 36wks of pregnancy and I got into 37 weeks one morning and boom they were there , just right under my belly close to my private area . That was when I found out that this is what happens to a lot of women . You think you escaped it because you never saw one and your due date is close . You don’t know they were just waiting to spring up on you at the last minute . This is because the baby is restless , stretching back and forth now as the womb is now tight . He/ she is getting ready also to come out and so there is not enough room in the womb anymore for him/ her . Unfortunately, this back and forth stretching strains your skin by making it stretch beyond its limits…and you end up with stretch marks or warrior lines like some women like to call it ( guess to make themselves feel good about themselves that they birthed a whole human ). Honestly how cool is it that we did though ?
FIGURE LOSS :- You lose your body shape. First of all I want to say women are really super creatures . To nurture a life in us for 8-10months. We carry this weight around , sit and walk with it and still go through endless hours of labor (This is another thing no one talked about. The fact that your first child labor is always the longest and sometimes can take as long as 2days of on and off pain ) . Sitting on your butt also with this weight in pregnancy flattens your butt( PS:1 Always move around a lot in pregnancy , it helps when you go into labour and saves you from a flatter butt) . Your tummy is expanded and so now you have to figure out how to get your figure back while taking care of a baby. Even when you do workout, wear a postpartum belt and do your stretches , you realize your body may not be as curvy as before because your center of gravity has been altered forever. Third thing is your right knee goes to shit as the baby was resting on this leg almost all through the nine months of pregnancy. Even when she is out. That knee will still be a problem .
BREASTFEEDING :- This seems so natural yet so hard. I, for example had never heard that when you breastfeed your first born , your boobs become so sore that they bleed. Mine bled twice on two different occasions . I was crying like a baby while feeding her. My culture even believes that it’s her mouth that will heal the wound so you have to keep breastfeeding even when you are dying of pain . Also, the fact that constant sucking on your boobs weakens the breast muscles and you see it start to sag. Boys suck harder than girls but if you are unlucky like I was and gave birth to a girl who sucks like a boy who is a constant foodie .. then you are going to want to wear a supportive bra always even to sleep . I realized the days I don’t wear it to sleep. It sags more.
let’s not talk about when you want to stop breastfeeding . If you were doing exclusive breastfeeding (I.e feeding him/her just breast milk) , then it’s harder . If your baby is taking both formula (baby refined milk) and breast milk , it’s easier to wean him/her off. You can though by gradually reducing the times you breast feed and increase milk intake instead . It’s still hard nonetheless cos it will be full and ache for days before the feeling passes .
5.IRREGULAR PERIODS:-
This is so scary as I am sure no woman really wants to get pregnant and put to bed just few months after having one but the sad truth is you have to be on a contraceptive or some form of family planning else your may conceive again shortly after you just had a baby. Check with your hospital doctor and confirm which contraceptive is compatible with your body as using the wrong ones have terrible side effects .This is so important unless you and your partner are ready to always wear condoms even when you are just making out because even his pre- cum can get you pregnant and you are most fertile this period plus it’s nearly impossible to calculate your safe period .Why? It’s impossible because your period comes and goes few weeks after having a baby and no , I am not talking about lochia (which is the postpartum bleeding that happens to every woman after having a baby , either you had a natural birth or a Caesarian section. )
This can be confusing for a lot of women as some women get their period just days after lochia is gone.
This Lochia also keeps changing from bright blood red to a yellow/slightly milky white discharge. Lochia can last for as long as six to eight (6-8wks) in women but there are exceptional cases that last more than two (2) months ( pls check with your doctor! ).
So imagine that has stopped and you see blood days after and you think it’s back but really it’s your period that has decided to show up ! Don’t be surprised if you bleed for about 3-4 days and it disappears only to show up a wk -10 days after -again. Your period does this till it regulates itself. The only way to tell that it’s not lochia is that it feels just like you felt when you had your period then . Dehydration with cramps and so on (Note:- symptoms differ by person ).
MAJOR SKIN CHANGES:- For me , I struggled the most with this . I have alway had great skin and I just could not understand why my skin which was no longer fine , extra dry with an extra dark tummy. To make it worse , just a month after delivery, my skin broke out in the worst skin infection amd rash . Thankfully not on my face, but nowhere else was spared . I bought a lot of antibacterial and anti-fungal creams . I learnt this was because our hormones go whack and the skin becomes very sensitive . I had red rashes all over and a very itchy private area .
I also learnt that some women’s skin type changes forever after this . For example from normal to dry-sensitive skin like mine did . You also have to be careful to not contact a yeast infection. This can be hard to get rid of especially if your baby has it . You will pass it back and forth between each other if it’s not treated properly ( so see a doctor and make sure your baby sees a paedatrician if you suspect you may have one ) (read No 11 post below to find out what a yeast infection is?).
DRY AND / TIGHT VAGINA :- I am so glad I downloaded BabyCentre . That app literally saved my life . If you are expecting , this is the best app ( basically running a free advert) but three (3) months postpartum making out with hubby and I find out I don’t get wet. I was so excited but my V wasn’t. It was frustrating. I searched my baby app (BabyCentre ) and found out the vagina remains dry and especially for breastfeeding mothers and I could remedy this by using a water based lubricant . Even though I was not ready for any action yet because of the huge tear I had during delivery. I was told my V was too small and the baby’s head would not pass through so they had to perform an Episotomy ( cut the area close to the vagina and perrineum. The pain is horrible but bearable than a CS pain I found out . A tight vagina could also occur . There are stories of so many women being tighter after the doctor stitched them back or performing too many kegel exercises ( find out what this means here…https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/14611-kegel-exercise )If I have not managed to scare you off from having a baby just yet ..then let’s move on to no 8.
DIASTASIS RECTI :- This is a condition where the left and right abdominal muscles separate in the tummy from each other during pregnancy. A woman that has this may find it almost impossible to lose the mummy pouch ( bump ) after delivery. You may find yourself doing various exercises and the stubborn tummy fat won’t disappear. To find out if you have this condition which is said to be common especially in women over 35yrs or who had a big baby . Lie down flat on a flat surface and dip your hand in the middle of your belly close to your navel and press down , if that area feels like no bone is there, then you most likely have diastasis recti . (For better diagnosis , check with your doctor ). There are specific exercises to correct this and shape of pelvis after delivery. Check out all this and more on the baby center app. You can also use Pinterest or google for types of exercise to do to correct diastasis recti else the wrong exercise can worsen it .You can follow diary of a fit mummy https://diaryofafitmommy.com/ ( on follow her IG and Pinterest. Links will be provided below ) she has the best tips (No, I was not paid for this advert either . She is just really good and her workout regimen worked for me also )
SLEEPLESS NIGHTS:- In the first six weeks of having a baby home with you. You have to figure out a routine for you and you baby to get rest but it’s almost impossible if you are not used to sleeping during the day just like I . You will be stressed and still have to take care of a baby and still find a way to feel good about yourself. Why ? Babies sleep during the day and howl all through the night for the first six weeks ( all babies do this ). It does not end there . It goes on for months after. It’s just better than the first six weeks and first three months.
FLABBY SKIN :- This occurs as a result of the extreme stretching of the skin that occurs in the last few weeks to your due date. You have to work on your tummy quick . Your best bet is a postpartum belt . Make sure you get one before your due date . You will not have time to go shop when the baby comes. Make sure you strap one on immediately you leave the hospital for the best results . Those belts work like magic when worn correctly . Endeavor to wear it for at least 12-16 hrs daily but always listen to your body . If your body says no I am not strong enough or comfortable for this today , let it be and don’t force it. I did not wear mine till two (2) weeks after and I still got a flat tummy. That was because I had no idea I had to wear it so early but also because my vagina pain was horrible and I could not sit at all after because I had a huge tear ( I had an episiotomy and a tear ) . I learnt it takes over 2-3 months to stop feeling the pain or soreness of one . It healed in three months precisely but I still felt sore once in a while .
YEAST / OTHER ANTI- BACTERIAL/ FUNGAL INFECTIONS :- Did you know that pregnancy and having a baby weakens your immune system. Add this to the six weeks postpartum where you get little to no sleep because the baby keeps you all up all night and you have a body that is compromised and susceptible to viruses and bacterial infections . All babies are awake all through the night this first six (6) weeks (there is really no escaping it ) and therefore it adds to the stress your body is already going through and before you know it , you are battling a bacterial or fungal infection . Check here https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/understanding-vaginal-yeast-infection-basics for symptoms of a yeast infection) ) to be sure that’s what you have . You also have to check with a pediatrician once you confirm with your doctor that it’s a yeast infection as breastfeeding mothers can pass it to the babies through the breast and it gets stored in her mouth which in turn causes pain for both parties everytime you breastfeed her. It can be passed back and forth between you both so it’s best to treat mother and child at the same time to prevent the fungus from recurring . Once you begin treatment for this , your doctor may prescribe over the counter creams for relief. It’s best to abstain from sex till you are done with treatment as you may give your partner . You are also susceptible to pregnancy or STI’s because of the oil present in those anti-fungal/ anti-bacterial creams have been said to prevent contraceptives and condoms from being effective. .
PRONE TO STI/STD’s :- Sometimes an STI has similar symptoms to a yeast infection .However , STI’s are sexually transmitted diseases . This is also due to weakened immune system. Hence it is advisable to always wear a condom if you are not sure of your partners faithfulness as STI’s can lead to other serious illnesses like HIV and others if it’s not taken care of properly. Sad truth is you may not recognize it’s one on time as they have very similar symptoms to the yeast infection in the vagina . That’s why you must always confirm with your healthcare giver once you suspect any itching or soreness around your private area or under-boobs .
Please Note:- I am not a medical expert and all this information given was from my personal experience and research I carried out myself . . Yours may be a bit different so please do confirm everytime with your medical doctor/ practitioner . Please , do not self medicate especially as a nursing mom as some drugs may be harmful to your baby if you are breastfeeding .
For fitness , check out Diary of a fit mommy :-
On Instagram :- Diary of a fit mommy Diastasis recti post on instagram
On Pinterest :- Diary of a fit mommy profile on Pinterest
Other helpful links :- Kegel exercises
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