A MINDFUL REALITY

Hi guys ; hope you are having a lovely day so far and a church around your house is not trying to drown your thoughts with their noise like I am experiencing right now . 

  So a thought has been lingering in my mind for some days now and it has to do with being mindful. We have to admit 2019 rolled by pretty fast . To some of us , it was an okay year but not exemplary like we would have liked . Certainly felt like a roller coaster where we had to hold on for dear life . Now that we are in 2020.. we realize we cannot afford the complacency of 2019 to happen again this year . We have to be AWAKE!

I have always been an extra curious person but i can also be impassive. 

Impassive when I don’t care about someone or that thing ! I can be an all or nothing kind of person!

My curiosity is always piqued more when I notice some qualities about a person and I am hoping my assumptions about them are either true or false. That’s when I get extra inquisitive and it seems like I am asking a lot of questions or I am trying to spend time with you more . Relax, I am not trying to marry you or be in your business … ( okay maybe I am if you are super cute and smart 😉 but once I get closer and realize it’s all fluff and no substance , I am the first to walk away … lol. 

I don’t really think I can be with people who have no depth. I get bored easily . Sorry.. not sorry ! 

    Getting closer to people over the years also made me realize a lot… for example :- 

I have come to realize that most people never really know what they want out of life and that they are three  main types of people . The ’DOERS’ , the ‘TALKERS’.. and the FLOATS.. with a large percentage being the latter .

The floats are those people who have no definitive plan or direction for their life . They love to go with the flow and rarely set new year goals . Not like I am a fan of resolutions because I think it results in unnecessary pressure and you end up achieving none . But also cos I don’t believe you have to wait till the year begins to set goals .

The floats are just floating or drifting through life hoping to make it … or expecting some sort of miracle like the churches tell them now ! ( what a joke).

Guys don’t be fooled, no such thing . Only way to success is hard work and more hard work!

“A wise man once said ,I have realized the more I work, the luckier I get ”. I tend to agree ☝️ . We create luck when we don’t give in or give up !

No one is an overnight sensation . Everyone has to start somewhere ( even Mark Zuckerberg and Oprah )

Then there is the other percentage of us that  actually do but we are sometimes too scared to grab life by the horns to achieve them …We end up procrastinating till the year rolls by and we look for who to blame for our woes ..

I read a book which came highly recommended “The compound method” which talked about how humans who accept responsibility for their lives and all actions taken by them to be theirs and no one else’s fault live and lead more successful lives”. 

They did not blame their father for making them do the wrong course or their boss for putting them in the wrong team. They accepted it and then tried to fix it by figuring out what they really wanted not what everyone else wants for them ! This book had a lot to talk about. Including some of what I will talk about later in this post . Like keeping a journal , accountability and setting goals .

What am I saying ? 

In order for you to succeed, you must first do a self examination ! Which is stemmed from self awareness and then you can move on to  self - actualisation !

Your no 1 tip for self actualisation is self - awareness . We have to live a mindful and present life . Never let life roll on by . Grab it by the reins !

I am in no way a fan of new year resolutions but I do believe in actually setting goals and making a list or targets to achieve them . How do you make goals achievable ? 

That’s pretty simple .. make sure they are SMART 

S- Specific 

M- measurable 

A- Achievable 

R- Realistic 

T- time bound .

A true and achievable goal has to be all of this things for you to actually make progress and achieve them. We need to stop leaving things to chance in 2020…

You want to have more savings and ultimately build an investment … then start taking control of where your money goes now.. you want a better relationship with your partner or loved ones , work on it . Speak to them , communicate , Incude them.. Instead of complaining . 

You want to live an healthier and more fit life .. start accepting responsibility is yours .keep a journal of foods you eat daily . Being mindful actually makes you live more in the present ! 

You can see how many calories you consume daily and carbs and how you can watch them . No need to starve yourself . Just be mindful!

Accepting responsibility in your relationship(s) simply means admitting when you are wrong and be willing to fix

TIPS TO ACHIEVE MORE :- 

USE A CALENDAR TO SCHEDULE:- 

I highly suggest using a calendar to schedule things. That way you can set reminders , time tables and get more things done . I am aware some of us do this and still ignore this when the reminder alarm chimes on your phone . That’s why you have to first discover your why ? Why do you want it so bad ? Once you have determined that and realized you cannot afford to not do it .. it would be easy to follow through ! 

- WRITE IT ALL DOWN: Get a journal or use your phone notepad . I am more of an 80’s chick and I believe In the old fashioned pen and paper ways .When you write down what you do daily … you can see your habits and from there , change or tweak those you want to. Psychologists believe it takes three weeks to make a habit . While ,habits done over time becomes a lifestyle.(like the trainings how parents instilled us growing up. Most of us cannot shake it off anymore. It’s already a part of us ). So can you do this . Start slow and work your way up. 

An example of how journaling saved a friend. She was earning over N200k monthly but kept saying she was broke . So I asked her to jot down every money spent immediately she bought it . She realized she even made more than 200k monthly , from tips she got from clients. She was spending 70k at least in a week and about 280-300 a month . Mostly on things she could have done without . Her essentials were just half of that .. the rest could have been avoided . Because she wrote it all down , it became glaring to her where her money was going and she felt uncomfortable spending all that .

- GET A PARTNER TO HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE - you all know how easy it is to workout when you have a workout buddie or friend …  Exactly ! Everyone needs one of those. This person could be your mentor , a work colleague or a friend . Someone to keep you in check when you forget your set goals and targets. A mentor is someone who is more versed in things of interest to you . Who clearly leads by example and is of inspiration to you . Everyone needs one to mold you or keep you in check.  

Lastly .. 

- BE PROACTIVE but also FLEXIBLE:- 

Relax if things are not going according to plan , sometimes things not working out simply means you need to adjust some things not abandon the goal completely. There is more than one way to do things and we are all constantly learning in life. No one is an encyclopedia of knowledge. 

It could also mean that you are not setting realistic goals so that takes me back to the SMART formulae . There is a reason Managers swear by it . Make it work for you and don’t be afraid to put in the necessary work needed to move you from where you are at to where you would love to be 

Lastly only you can see your VISION, no one else can . So only You has to BELIEVE in You … 

let your inner self shine .. 

cheers to a lovely week and an amazing year smashing goals 💪

That’s it for now guys .. leave a comment if you enjoyed this post and would love to see more like this 💕