The word ‘Suicide’ caught your attention. Didn't it?
“The truth is suicide catches everyone's attention. It's the actions that leads up to it that goes unnoticed ”
Suicide!
That word alone sets off a chain of emotions inside us. It can mean different things to different people.
The holy books frown upon it. They even go as far as telling us that any human that takes his life will not make heaven and will go to HELL. That we have no right to take the life that was so freely given to us by God..its not ours to take. We have to wait till God's time which is said to be the best.
Although, we also have to understand that for someone to resort to SUICIDE as an option, Then they have lost all HOPE and taking their life is the only way out they see..
Although, we also have to understand that for someone to resort to SUICIDE as an option, Then they have lost all HOPE and taking their life is the only way out they see..
Some see it as an easy way out but a way out nonetheless…
A way to end their suffering and the pain they feel or find a better life somewhere else much better than their present life
A person that commits suicide either has hope that of living on somewhere else or as seen in most common cases, the victim is HOPELESS and does not even care about now, future or any afterlife. They just want to DISSAPPEAR and constantly feels unseen, no one gets them or is currently overwhelmed or thinks so little of himself that he/she is convinced if he ceases to exist, life will be better for everyone all round and may not even have thought that far ahead about what happens after after his/her demise. He wants to exist no more and that is the primary concern and focus.
As humans, when we lose our loved ones to suicide.. It brings about so many ‘conflicting’ emotions and thoughts leaving survivors bereaved..but mostly confused. They want to know why? They also wonder how they missed the signs…?? What led the victim up-to that point?
If you stick around though...you may be able to get some of the answers to this burning questions that has all us now in a frenzy.
You wonder, how can one not love his / herself enough to at least try harder or have a glimmer of hope that things may not remain this way forever.
Instead he chooses to forcefully take his own life, not considering what it would do to his loved ones. He/she wants to disappear and not be a burden anymore like he thinks he is. ‘Dissappear’ is a word commonly used by people suffering from depression. If you have anyone suffering from any kind of depression, pretty sure you would have heard that word ‘once’ or ‘twice’. You probably did not pay attention to those words or notice they were even depressed to begin with.
By now, you would be wondering ..oh wow. Is there a link?
- Do depressed people eventually want to not live anymore..or exist. Is that why they end up taking their own lives ??
- if so, how does one know when a depressed person has reached this stage?
- What do we do when we do find out and how do we help or manage the situation?
- Do depressed people eventually want to not live anymore..or exist. Is that why they end up taking their own lives ??
- if so, how does one know when a depressed person has reached this stage?
- What do we do when we do find out and how do we help or manage the situation?
I know. ..So many questions and not enough answers!
You should also know suicide is not only linked to depression but depression is a major driving factor for other causes.
Depression can and has been linked to a whole lot. It's existence bears evolution from a whole other pre-existing factors also or causes including...
- peer pressure..
- Societal pressure and stress
- Anxiety ,delusions and so on
- as well as Hereditary causes.
- peer pressure..
- Societal pressure and stress
- Anxiety ,delusions and so on
- as well as Hereditary causes.
Cases like bipolar (a type of depression) said to be passed down from generations. Even though scientists cannot totally prove this. There have been certain studies talking about the huge possibility that a kid or person experiencing bipolar may have borne pre-existence from his blood line as a result of either a parent(s) or a relation(s) that has it.
Depression has been linked to Anxiety too.
Anxious people tend to not want to live in the present ..they are constantly under an invisible pressure to be in another place or time imagined by them to be more suitable to their taste or wants in life. They are special human beings in the sense that a person with anxiety can be hard to live with as their moods are constantly changing, they can be a bit apprehensive .. Even though they have normal lives.. People around them constantly have to deal with their mood swings and failing health conditions. They are all around us. Fighting it everyday to stay sane..and so are depressed patients but in a society where people do not even believe in depression. How do we tackle it? Or manage it?
PS:- Check out my last post on depression and how to manage it and live with it.
Back to this post… so sorry for digressing but you have to agree with me. It's all linked and interwoven and it's our job to take it apart and piece it all together so we can at least make a headway.
We are now in a fast paced technology driven world where everything is mechanised or online. A study done in the US says that one (1) in three (3) people have been depressed in their lifetime.
Meaning we all have experienced situational depression (which is what happens when we do not have interest in our normal daily activities due to maybe a loss of a loved one, job, or opportunities or even a change of environment etc).. and is said to occur as a result of a change in a person's situation usually for the worse. Even though in some cases, a person can have situational depression even if good things are happening to him but he does not know how to handle it or the pressure is a little overwhelming.
It could also be major depression/depressive disorder. Which is majorly depression with all the common major symtomps of depression such as over sleeping or under sleeping, no interest in things, over eating or not enough, certain delusions about reality and inability to do our routine like we used to do regularly . They never want to hangout anymore. If you have friends or family members exhibiting this traits. Please be there for them.. Reach out to them. NO, do not offer them tips on what to do. They already know what to do, they just don't have the energy or zeal to do it.
What you can do is constantly reassure them you are here, not going anywhere…and encourage them to talk about how they are feeling to an expert or a doctor who can refer them to the help they desperately need.
Most depressed people find it easier to tell strangers how they are feeling than their loved ones or family members. I know it can hurt when your loved one is going through things like this and they go find solace in the hands of someone else or even confide in someone else....especially if your partner does that to you. You feel hurt and disconnected from them..but that is because we are thinking only of ourselves and not the depressed person. We have to learn to put their needs over ours, No matter how hurt we feel at that moment. It's not the fault of the victim, you just have to know that they care about you..but depression, anxiety and a whole lot of mental illnesses can make one selfish and a little self-absorbed. They are fighting for their lives and you may not always be considered.
You can also offer to help wiith chores around the house.. Most cases when a person is depressed, they pay no attention to their surroundings. It's usually always a mess. By helping them tidy the chaos around them, it can actually help clarify their thoughts. Depression has been said to be a chemical imbalance in the brain and has little to do with the person's fault. He cannot just snap out if it. It's a gradual process. A process that takes continual working on it but a process nonetheless!
What is Suicide??
Suicide is simply the ability to take one's life or cut it short usually done in painful ways.
Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Mental disorders, including depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorders, and substance abuse—including alcoholism and the use of benzodiazepines—are risk factors.
Bear in mind a person committing suicide has reached their last resort or at least that's what he/she thinks and sees no other way out except this way, SUICIDE. He has lost all hope in his being and sees no light at the end of the tunnel and therefore wants to cease to exist. He wants to be no more.
I know i cannot be the only concerned one about the sudden rise in suicide rates and attempts by our young upcoming youths and teens. why are young ones even involved in this? What has them so troubled at this tender ages of 14,15,16 to 21 and even young adults that has them swallowing sniper (poison) or doing something worse to hurt themselves because they want to end their lives?
Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. Mental disorders, including depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorders, and substance abuse—including alcoholism and the use of benzodiazepines—are risk factors.
Bear in mind a person committing suicide has reached their last resort or at least that's what he/she thinks and sees no other way out except this way, SUICIDE. He has lost all hope in his being and sees no light at the end of the tunnel and therefore wants to cease to exist. He wants to be no more.
I know i cannot be the only concerned one about the sudden rise in suicide rates and attempts by our young upcoming youths and teens. why are young ones even involved in this? What has them so troubled at this tender ages of 14,15,16 to 21 and even young adults that has them swallowing sniper (poison) or doing something worse to hurt themselves because they want to end their lives?
How can they want to die so young? What went wrong? Why now?
Well ,there are a lot of reasons.. All these listed below are reasons why, to say the least...
-- Cyber crime.
-- Low /poor standard of living (poverty and hunger in the land).
-- peer pressure.
-- social media.
-- Abuse of drugs and substances..
-- Neglect from parents, teachers and guardians..etc
-- Cyber crime.
-- Low /poor standard of living (poverty and hunger in the land).
-- peer pressure.
-- social media.
-- Abuse of drugs and substances..
-- Neglect from parents, teachers and guardians..etc
The INTERNET and It's pressures :- The need to live this perfect life created online has so many of us including adults living a life we really do not care about.
‘ If adults can be pressured, then why can't young teenagers who feel the constant need to belong’ ?Especially when parents/guardians are not even paying close attention. A young adult or teen who has uninhibited access to the internet everyday will definitely see things beyond his years and make him want to copy this acts accordingly.
The internet/social media frenzy ultimately leads to pressure.
‘ If adults can be pressured, then why can't young teenagers who feel the constant need to belong’ ?Especially when parents/guardians are not even paying close attention. A young adult or teen who has uninhibited access to the internet everyday will definitely see things beyond his years and make him want to copy this acts accordingly.
The internet/social media frenzy ultimately leads to pressure.
Cybercrime :-
I was out with a friend once and a bunch of young men sitted just outside our glass looked like they couldn't be more than 15-18yrs of age and yet they were there all night smoking their lives away. Now you could tell they were a regular and that this was not their first time doing this or being here.
In our days, at that age, your parents still had their eyes on you 24/7. You had a social life but you had a curfew, which was usually before 6pm..and neither would you have the balls to live this kind of life, not to talk of in public knowing either your parents or their friends can see you and report to your folks back home. Which means you are dead meat.
Then, we all believed the society, your parents, teachers and other parents raise your kids and not you alone here in Nigeria. I do not know about other Countries or Continents. Where did we go wrong?? These boys were obviously not making money the right way. They were either into cyber crime or something more fraudulent. Else they won't be this extravagant and wasteful if they worked hard for that money. What i want you to see here is that a boy like that who has made 15-20 million in a night. Blows it all off in a month or less would find it impossible to go back to a basic life ever again. He would ultimately do everything in his power to get that kind of fast life back.. And if he cannot keep up or is unable to, he can end up seriously depressed.
He also can definitely not get a normal day/night paying job of 100k or less when he finally completes his education and joins the workforce. That's if he even completes his schooling. Afterall the whole purpose of education and schooling is to make ‘money ’ and they seem to have that in abundance already. What happens after this?
He feels a certain level of despair and finds life unbearable when he has to go to a broke life and would either do all he can to get that expensive affluent life back or choose to kill himself because he can no longer live up to the false standard he set for himself.
PEER PRESSURE:- To me, I feel like this is a huge factor driving others. The use of abusive substances by young adults and even powerful drug medications meant for treatments of serious ailments which they now abuse in large quantities is a major problem. I have no idea why the government is not worried or so calm.
Few years back, If your son was an alcoholic or a chronic smoker, you can smell this on them no matter how they hid it or tried to...but now , they don't even do all these. They take more powerful substances and drugs that have no smell and cannot even be traced unless you actually see it with them. These hard drugs mess with their mental states and stability. Any wonder, depression and suicide is on the rise?
Peer pressure is not subject only to young ones.. Adults face it too and according to a large number of figures and facts online, most adults who commit suicide were depressed for the longest time before they eventually planned to take their lives. Some even plan the whole process out methodologically. Makes you wonder how long they have thought about it.
--- In Africa, a friend getting married is pressure for the couples friends that are single ones.
PEER PRESSURE:- To me, I feel like this is a huge factor driving others. The use of abusive substances by young adults and even powerful drug medications meant for treatments of serious ailments which they now abuse in large quantities is a major problem. I have no idea why the government is not worried or so calm.
Few years back, If your son was an alcoholic or a chronic smoker, you can smell this on them no matter how they hid it or tried to...but now , they don't even do all these. They take more powerful substances and drugs that have no smell and cannot even be traced unless you actually see it with them. These hard drugs mess with their mental states and stability. Any wonder, depression and suicide is on the rise?
Peer pressure is not subject only to young ones.. Adults face it too and according to a large number of figures and facts online, most adults who commit suicide were depressed for the longest time before they eventually planned to take their lives. Some even plan the whole process out methodologically. Makes you wonder how long they have thought about it.
--- In Africa, a friend getting married is pressure for the couples friends that are single ones.
-- A friend/ family member picking aso ebi is pressure for family and friends mandated to buy this aso ebi or risk not being invited or even shunned at the party cos u dared to come in anything but the so called aso ebi.
-- Your friend having kids is pressure while you and your wife are still looking up-to God… and so on.
I know I am not the only one worried about the sudden rise in SUICIDE rates recently. Especially in the young generation. We are losing our teens and young adults to it. We should all be worried. Social media is training us to compare our lives instead of appreciating who we are. It's no wonder we are all depressed trying to keep up.
The poor standard of living is also another:- The poor living standard in the country is enough to get anyone depressed. A man took his life the other day because he could not afford his rent...another victim did because he was overwhelmed with debts and a waec student just cos he had done the exam thrice and kept failing. What's the connection or link? All these people felt like a failure or failure(s) with their lives and were so dissatisfied that they arrived at only one solution..‘Suicide ’!.
Government is not without it's share of the blame here in Africa.. Especially in our country, Nigeria. I mean… A country that has no plans for it's citizens and still doesn't . How can they not be blamed ? We basically provide everything for ourselves as a Nigerian. From food to shelter to power , security, education and so on...Yet we earn so little. Is it any wonder, people have managed to justify illegal means of livelihood and cybercrime. Also any wonder everyone is depressed or on the brink?
Suicide rates going up is not only in Nigeria though , it's happening everywhere world wide but we believed we had a more reserved upbringing and was not as common back in the days here in Africa.
We have to come together as a community and try to help those we see need our help. Stop giving your wealth, money and cars to pastors and religious clerics . Your hungry, disprivileged neighbour needs it more. That was the person God told you to love like yourself. Be there for your loved ones and even frenemies. Yes, I said it… your friends like enemies...we all need someone. Life is hard. If we all fight this epidemic and take it as serious as we should. Maybe we will lose less people to it and we can all have normal lives again.
Parents and guardians should take their roles seriously and actively. Also stop giving children access to so much information when they are still so young and cannot handle it. Examples are parents buying kids gadgets because they want this kids to look cool. These children end up being overly exposed to indecent things at a very young age.
Schools should also look into extra curricular activities.. No one is saying you cannot take this kids out to have fun, but please do your research. Children at the cinema watching adult movies all in the name of fun and excursion is a NO - NO.
They say charity begins at home. This was a popular saying when i was growing up. How many of us still believe in that saying?. Parents neglect their kids and are constantly chasing money.. Society now looks the other way. We have all abandoned our values and integrity and continually chase and worship money. That's the society we live in presently.! The thing about the mind is when we constantly hear things over and over, it seeps into our subconscious and we ultimately believe it. Clerics and our leaders are to blame for this. They constantly throw it in everyone's face. It's in the media, on the news and radio outlets. While our clerics all preach prosperity and blatantly worship individuals who bring more money to the church /mosque making others feel bad and less worthy.
We have all forgotten that once you die, you will not be buried with any of this so called money ,riches and wealth. This things we continually purchase in the bid to look cool or be happy ignoring our primary purpose in life as a parent/guardian or even our sole responsiblity for being here on earth which is to worship God solely and be there for others. God chose you to be that kids' parent for a reason. Do your Job and stop leaving it all to the school to raise your kids. The school is not their parent...and wether we accept this truth or not, Schools were made and built for profit. Eventually, we find that these things we chase still don't and cannot bring us happiness or fulfilment. Helping as many people as you can, does. Leaving a positive impact in people's lives matters, not the quality of clothes you wear or the cars you drive. You find more value within yourselves when you help people, more at peace within and actually feel like you are doing something worthwhile.
Let's all do our jobs and stop passing on the baton. What's our job?You as a parent /guardian should be there for your kids. Talk to them..guide them, let them trust you so they can tell you things..
The government has a job, which is to provide a better quality of life for it's citizens. Good and reliable affordable housing plans, good roads, security, regular power and water supply. All these are necessities not a luxury. We all need to do better. Improving the quality of lives of citizens is what we voted them in for. Let us hold them accountable and stop blaming others for our woes.
Living a mindful present life and actually learning to enjoy the present will ultimately lead to less people getting depressed, less failures as a community and nation as a whole. We all know tough times don't last, tough people do...
We also need to learn how society tries to control you with their pressures. It's not on you to make everyone happy. It is your life, not theirs and only you has to live with it and you alone bear the regrets if things do not work out .Not your parents, not your partner or the friends who constantly tell you what they need from you. Learn how to manage their expectations in alignment with what is good for you. Always remember that!
Always be around people who put your happiness first else stay away from them. We all have an energy. If you know you circle is filled with negative ones always draining yours. Stay away. Some people are super sensitive. This is a good thing because they feel more, love more and are better for the human race... but it can also come with a whole lot..in the sense that they can get overwhelmed easily and are susceptible to depression or extreme sadness when they feel things from people around them or from their own lives. (read more on people with high empathy). If you know this sounds like you, protect your energy. Stay healthy mentally. You can practice yoga, meditation and other healthy practices. (google how to begin. These practices help to relieve stress, improve concentration and reduces even Anxiety). Self care is not selfish, It is important. Especially in a fast paced world that we currently live in. We need to put certain steps in place. You start small now so you can enjoy the benefits sooner.
The government also has to learn to build a more sustainable system that is reliable and consistent. Our enviroment is a major factor in how our life plays out and affects everyone on a larger scale than we think. I sincerely hope and pray that we can all come together and help one another. This is why we are here on earth. To love ourselves and help each other grow. This is the only way we can fight depression, anxiety, suicide rates and a whole lot of mental diseases. It is up to us!
Note :- people that commit suicide are not selfish. They just had less control over the voices in their head telling them to end their lives now. Let's end the stigma.
Thank you for coming to my blog 🙏
If you enjoyed this article and you were able to learn a few things. Please do not forget to like and share with your friends and family.. You may save a life. God bless you as you do.
We also need to learn how society tries to control you with their pressures. It's not on you to make everyone happy. It is your life, not theirs and only you has to live with it and you alone bear the regrets if things do not work out .Not your parents, not your partner or the friends who constantly tell you what they need from you. Learn how to manage their expectations in alignment with what is good for you. Always remember that!
Always be around people who put your happiness first else stay away from them. We all have an energy. If you know you circle is filled with negative ones always draining yours. Stay away. Some people are super sensitive. This is a good thing because they feel more, love more and are better for the human race... but it can also come with a whole lot..in the sense that they can get overwhelmed easily and are susceptible to depression or extreme sadness when they feel things from people around them or from their own lives. (read more on people with high empathy). If you know this sounds like you, protect your energy. Stay healthy mentally. You can practice yoga, meditation and other healthy practices. (google how to begin. These practices help to relieve stress, improve concentration and reduces even Anxiety). Self care is not selfish, It is important. Especially in a fast paced world that we currently live in. We need to put certain steps in place. You start small now so you can enjoy the benefits sooner.
The government also has to learn to build a more sustainable system that is reliable and consistent. Our enviroment is a major factor in how our life plays out and affects everyone on a larger scale than we think. I sincerely hope and pray that we can all come together and help one another. This is why we are here on earth. To love ourselves and help each other grow. This is the only way we can fight depression, anxiety, suicide rates and a whole lot of mental diseases. It is up to us!
Note :- people that commit suicide are not selfish. They just had less control over the voices in their head telling them to end their lives now. Let's end the stigma.
Thank you for coming to my blog 🙏
If you enjoyed this article and you were able to learn a few things. Please do not forget to like and share with your friends and family.. You may save a life. God bless you as you do.
Every state and country has help care lines for emergencies and special phone lines for suicide victims either to save them or even just to talk.
These are for Lagos state, Nigeria
08058820777 and 09030000741.
Or you can call the Lagos state Distress /emergency numbers which is '767' and '112'
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